Last E-mail... :-(

Short and sweet, in the mission office, just ended my last interview.....very sad...sad stuff indeed. Not excited to come home. Before I´m realesed we need to drop by the MTC, I want to see Josh while I´ve still got my missionary badge on. 

:D got the pacakge here, everybody liking the berty botts beans :D

 

See you in a bit....

Elder *sad camper* Webber

2nd-to-last Week!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Focus...focus...focus...focus...focussssssssss.......

calm...calm...breathe.....ahhhh!!!!!!!!

I´m so tired....

Yeah, monday we met a dude from africa, he´s pretty cool, went to church with us on sunday, he clicks his tounge when he talks cuz he´s mixing his tribal language with portuguese. 

I convinced a family on tuesday that I´m from Rio Grande do Sul, a state in brasil... and they didn´t find out until Elder Boyne told them I was american at the end...laaaaame. 

Also, while I was on division with Elder Pires the other day in his area, we met and taught a guy and his two kids... apparently he really liked me and asked if i could baptize him this saturday, haha, SWEEEET!!   This was what I was waiting for, I only needed one more baptism to meet my goal and The Lord blesses me in the last week to  baptize a guy in another area, awesome :D

Bruno passed the sacrament for the first time Sunday, I´m so happy to see him going to church alone and being a part of the branch, he went to church with us after, so it was a party with all the branch boys. I´m gonna miss Bruno the most when I leave this area.

Yes, as a matter of fact i do have a ring collection, and each one has a story :D

Also, I´ve learned that on the mission, the best days always end up with the most paperwork in the end.

I´m getting ready to leave the front lines and come back to Babylon.... get tactical! Hoo-Rah!

I saw the numbers for the whole zone today, a zone that includes 3 cities and 24 missionaries....I´m working with a bunch of slackers! I'm doing more work that any of the other leaders, including the assisstants and blowing the normal companionships out of the water... and I thought that this week wasn´t very productive in my area.... my my, I´d be ashamed of myself if I were any of the other missionaries here. Except one other companionship, they´re doing pretty good :D  *THIS AINT NO KINDERGARDENERS IN THE SANDBOX!!*

*Do you think the phillips screwdriver was named after a guy named Phillip? Dude, that Phillip must have had a messed-up shaped head!*

-Red vs. Blue

Love you all!! see you in a bit.

Elder Webber

P.S. Some members in the Planalto area liked me so much that they sent me a going-away present :D hahahaha

A "Peachy" week

*It happened on one of them zippadee-do-da days. It´s one of those days when you can´t open your mouth without a song coming right out of it....*

We baptized again... wooo!!! We baptized Tiago sunday morning, it was a battle to help his mom decide to sign his sheet and let him baptize, but she finally signed it on friday, wooo! we could tell she really wanted too, but she just needed that extra push, just a little more help to get over her fears. we left an amazing message with her on wednesday that really got her thinking and finally got her to say yes on friday, oh yeeeeaaah. so he got baptized in the giant tub of water in the chapel, and he and Lucia both got confirmed in sacrament meeting, and Lucia even bore her testimony, good times indeed.

fotos:

1-us and Thiago

2. again

3. Reyler and Thiago 

4. another photo from last week, Lucia´s baptism :D

Well.. other news from this week, the mission changed our telephone service provider. from Vivo to Claro, and WE ALL GOT NEW CELLPHONES... oooooooh. very shway. I deleted all the games off it when i got it..... so i don´t have to keep an eye on my companion so much.

Tuesday my whole district went to Tibery to give Elder Dos Santos a hand, we just knocked doors all day, found a bunch of people for him to teach... I feel bad for him, he´s stuggling a bunch. However, last week three companionships from my district baptized, this week was two, this next week seems like 3 will baptize again, (including mine). YEAH go district Tocantins!!   So things are going quite peachy, I think we may be able to baptize every week of this month in my area... it´s been a while since this branch has had so many baptisms. Even president was blown away at how little success this branch has had. haha. booyah. We´re gonna baptize Bruno this week, we´ve helped him stop drinking, drinking coffee, and out of depression, he´s way happier now, and pumped to be baptized. :D

I´m butting heads a little bit with the local assistant cuz he´s messing with my district, leaving everybody stressed, and stepping on toes, but we´ll work it out.

Wow, I loved the emails in response to my last.  Got me thinking indeed. Though I still don´t think I´m gonna be fully prepared to come home...

Totally gonna sign up for a frequent flyer card, 

*you ever heard of Plato? Aristotle? Socrates?*

*yes*

*morons*

LOVE YOU ALL!! see ya in a bit.

ELDER WEBBER

A "COOL" Week!

So yeah.

This week was cool. Best news:  WE BAPTIZED WOO!!!! Lucia finally got baptized in between the two sessions on Sunday.   Good times.   The zone leaders and another companionship also baptized at the same time.  So nearly my whole district has baptized already, oh yeaaaah.  Started off the month pretty good indeed.  Also, our baptisms happened on the day the first rain of the rainy season came, wooo!!  Come on shoes! you can hold up a little while longer.....

Went on division with Elder Mos on Tuesday, went to his area to help him out a bit, close the deal on some of his baptisms. Not too shabby. It´s nice when I announce that something is gonna happen, like a division, and everyone just says *sure!*.  Things go along much more smoothly.

My eyes had been bothering me all last week... until I finally looked on the side of my saline bottle.. and realized it had expired in August.... that would explain alot of things, so I bought a new bottle and all is well.

photos:

1. us with lucia

2. everyone being baptized with those doing the baptisms.... and me!

3. Elder Grandy helping me out. :D

I was with Elder Pires, zone leader, this weekend so he could do a few interviews for us this weekend. Lucia´s and Brunos, Lucia passed (duh) and was baptized, but Bruno will have to wait a bit more, he´ll be baptized on the 15.  Sweet. I was dieing of nervousness running around trying to get the deat-beat members to help us out and take our investigators to the stake center to watch conference, that didn´t work out too well. grrrr! lazy lazy lazy.  But either way I LOVED general conference, I missed the priesthood session, cuz it was 8:00 in the morning (and we were busy), and threw a wrench into all our plans. so i´ll read it when the liahona comes out.  However.... during the general sessions... talk after talk after talk kept pounding the same message into my heart and spirit.... no matter what the subject was it seemed like the Spirit was trying to tell me one thing.  "Get prepared" so what do i do?  I look up at heaven and say *alright, I understand*   I had sort of the same experience while on division with Elder Mos, we were talking with a member, reading some scriptures, talking about some things... then me and Elder Mos looked at each other cuz we were both feeling the same thing: This world isn´t going to last for much longer.  The Spirit testified to us at the same time, and neither one of us could deny what we were talking about, or what we felt, I can´t really write about it here. But as we were walking back home we both talked about how important it is to us now to get our food storage in order when we get back and to ALWAYS pay our tithing, and to really listen with our spiritual ears when we listen to the prophet, like I did this weekend......I learned alot more than what he was just saying.   It was an experience I can´t really describe.... we were both speachless as we left the house.

Another member told us that when we came to his house that he knew we were coming.  Cuz he had woken up from his nap and seen an unclean spirit chillin in his house, but suddenly it perked  up and ran away as fast as possible.   And he thought: *the missionaries are coming*

Every missionary changes on the mission... but the changes I´m seeing happen during these last 2 weeks... and that I can see will yet happen... have surprised (and pleased) me.

We got a few baptisms lined up for this month, a few more district meetings to rally up the troops. I´ve called the whole district to work in Tibery on Tuesday, to help out Elder Dos Santos there, cuz its been a while since he´s baptized. LETS DO WORK!

LOVE YOU ALL! good luck Josh.

*Boys, don´t be stupid*

-Coach Smyth

Rockin' Along...

Well well, Josh has finally embarked into the great beyond, when I left the car and headed into the MTC for the first time it all seems like a blur, I don´t even remember what I said.

fotos!

1. me trying to remember what I´d learned in my guitar lessons, with Bruno.

2. Josh is going to Paris eh? well i´m already there :D

3. Me and Samuel at stake conference.

On Tuesday I went on division with Elder Dos Santos, to try and figure out what´s going wrong in his area, and to see what i could do to help him baptize finally. While I was there he took me to a family he´d been teaching for a while, but the mom and dad are reluctant to finally be baptized. So i decided to leave a message that was special to me. So I opened up the book of mormon and read Alma 22 (my favorite chapter in the Book of Mormon) and told them about my convesion story on the airplane. I dunno how they felt during the lesson...but I had one of the most spiritual experiences of my life. It was amazing. to put it in the words of John Paul Suart´s book *The Wall*: *I cried and cried and cried.... I cried so hard.. that I laughed*

The zone leaders came by on friday to interview Lucia... but she didn´t pass, she needs to wait a bit longer to show that she´s really repented of drinking coffee and smoking... oh well, now she´ll be baptized on Sunday between the general conferece sessions. Every time we go there when it´s night, she always runs off... and comes back with omlettes from the food-stand next door, haha. oh yeah, she loves us.

Sunday we had 5 investigators in church, woo!

Every once in a while when I answer the phone, I hear *oh Babylon, oh Babylon, we bid thee farewell!!!* Thanks guys... that´s helping me focus, haha. Though I think President is gonna leave me here till the end, cuz he called me last night to ask about how the district is doing, and what the problem is with the zone, he told me to fix it, that he´s trusting in me to help the zone baptize a buttload next month.... I only need 4 more to meet my goal, YOU CAN DO IT!

Lets see... what else is new here...... I decided to do a conferece call with my district this morning, make some plans for next month, see how this month went by, what´s good, what was bad, what can be better, all that good stuff. But when I asked one by one what their thoughts were they all said the same thing: *our district is awesome! We´re all united and happy, and our district leader is the best, we learn something awesome each district meeting.* by the end I just ended up saying: *guys! is there ANYTHING we can do better? any little thing that anybody isn´t happy with?? * ..........cheep cheep.....cheep cheep........ haha... well... at least everybody is liking where we are :D

Well that´s all the big news for now. nobody has been transferred. So we trudge on!

LOVE YOU ALL!

*What is the difference between a man, and a slave?

Is is money?

Power?

No, a man chooses, a slave obeys.*

ELDER WEBBER

Lots of Teaching...!

So, yup.

We´re teaching a way cool lady these days, Lucia. Found her a week and a half ago. she went to church after the first lesson, read and everything. knows it´s true. the day after she went to church some nice J-dubs passed by there and told her that she was going down the path of satan, blah blah blah, said a bunch of stuff about the chruch. she just said *no, YOU`RE wrong, I went to your church already and I didn´t feel good, but when I went to theirs I felt great, I liked it and I´m going back, thank you very much!* booyahh! Take it! our investigator is balls-to-the-wall, she chewed out some nosey pentecostal neighbor because she told her a bunch of stuff about the church. Hahaha! and now she´s telling everybody that she´s getting baptized this Saturday, oh yeaaah. She stopped smoking in one day, now she said that when she tries to smoke she feels sick and wants to throw up. We bought her a HUGE sack of oranges to help her out, but she really didn´t need it anymore. She went to stake conference yesterday with a member, and she started calling the church *our church* :D Last Tuesday we were a-chatting, and she started crying cuz she remembered that i was heading home in November. *but two months is so little time!!! you barely show up and you´ll have to leave!*

On the other hand, we´re teaching another family, and the mom told us that one of the daughters cried during the night after she found out that I couldn´t date while I'm on the mission. haha. So now she´s just shame-less when she talks to us *if i go to church and get baptized will you marry me??* *umm....no* every area I pass through.....

Note: I feel like i´m companions with a 10 year old child with ADD. Everything I say just goes in one ear and out the other... it´ll be good to be home and not have to answer the same questions on the phone: *Elder, how´s your companion? * *umm.. he´s alive* *still slacker?* *yeah* *you gotta help him out* *no duh, that´s what i´m trying to do* *how´s his study, is he getting better in his teaching?* *umm... sure, a little bit* *yeah, i´ve seen your district meetings... he just zones out the whole time* *this i know...* *does he still want to go home?* *well.... he hasn´t mentioned it lately* *we´re praying for him* *thanks* oh the joy!

I did two interviews saturday in Luizote, but only one got baptized. How sad. They managed to get an old lady baptized, it was one of the most interesting interviews I´ve done

*what is the word of wisdom?*

*baptism!*

*what do you understand about the law of chastity?*

*baptism!*

*what does the word repentance mean to you?*

*baptism!*

i think she wanted to be baptized..., or she was brainwashed.

Today is the day I start officially using my last planner of the mission...... oh wow. And all they told me is that I leave Goiania about 8 in the morning and get to Utah 10:30 on the 3rd. But I´m sure they´ll give me more info later.

We had district meeting with President this week, he passed a few new rules, a few other little things, and apparently every companionship (in Brasil or the world, I dunno) gets a portable dvd player to keep at home, to watch the church training videos, sweeeeeet! That´s a lot of trust the prophet has in the missionaries here, especially since my comp. got busted for buying a dvd player and watching movies.... I´ll have to keep an eye on him. *I`M WATCHING YOU WIZOWSKY!* I gave a top-dollar training afer, just like President asked. Feels good to just lay it out flat and show ém how it´s done. I got to see the differnce in my relationship with my district, and Elder Wengel´s relationshiop with his.... it´s nice to have the feeling of knowing that your missionaries love and respect you, and actively ask for your opinion, and aren´t just there cuz they have to be there. We´re a family.

So we have a baptism this week, 4 more planned for after general conference, and so on. Good times, good times indeed.

I met a guy named Alligator the other day, he put glass in our front door for us. *hey mr. Alligator!*

*you do know Elvis is dead right?*

*No, Elvis is not dead, he just went home*

LOVE YOU!!

ELDER WEBBER

A ... week

So, nothing really exiting here on my end this week, nothing compared to what´s going down back home eh?

We finally moved house, it´s a pretty spiffy place, the front door is missing glass and the landlord said he´ll put it in this week, and it´s only got tile on the roof, so when it starts to rain we´ll have a huge problem with leaks, but we´ll see how that goes, and if he´ll get around to actually finishing the roof soon.

I was bored the other day so i decided to draw my dream house, very nice indeed, it includes ballroom, atrium, 2 floor library, wine cellar, vinyard, observatory, grand entry hall, rugby field, and so on.

We played pool the other day with an investigator family, and i realize i´m gonn ahve to practice a bit more when i get home cuz i´ve lost my touch, im terrible at pool now, how embarassing.

I went to Luizote to interview a man for baptism, and halfway through i asked *have you commited any serious crimes?* *hmm.. yeah, a few... used drugs, sold drugs, got in fights....etc* *ah ok ok, well have you repented?* *oh yes, of course* *is there anything else?* *yeah, i´ve killed someone.* *.......well that sucks. sorry bro, you can´t be baptized.* poor dude, he was so bummed out. almost as bummed as the missionaries.

We´ve found 3 really awesome people this week who accepted to be baptized, 2 went to church on sunday, wooo! they just have to stop smoking and drinking coffee and it´s a done deal. ahhh! so excited!! It s even better knowing that one was studying with the J-dubs, then met us and totally gave the cold shoulder to them, bwahaha!

I think i have pink-eye, or something these days, but it´ll go away soon, i hope.

Ii found out I´m gonna be jumping back at about 10:30 on November 3rd. ahhhh!

Good to hear that josh´s farewell was all that and a bag of chips. though... my homecoming is gonna put it to shame! boom! i talked a bit about that during district meeting last week, about walking out of the terminal, doing the slow-walk, with music playing in the background, i even acted it out for the district, throwing your arms in the air, people screaming. and so on, and i said:

*every missionary in the world leaves on the mission thinking about one thing: what it´ll be like to come home, leaving the airplane after 2 years of dedicated service to the Lord, for 10 minutes you are THE MOST important person in the world. you go out to come home. are you gonna make it worth it? or are you going to come home a sham, a liar, a fraud?? cuz if you screw up your homecoming, you may as well just throw those two years away cuz they did nothing for you. Elder, are you gonna come home the missionary your mother thinks you are??? and you? and you? and you? and you? and you? if not, change now, or go home, cuz it doesn´t matter if you go home now or at the end, it´ll still be a let-down for you and everyone you know and love.*

I summed it here up but i think you understand how it went.

*There is a box of twinkies in this store. Not just any box of twinkies, but the last box of twinkies that anyone will ever enjoy on the face of the earth*

-Zombieland

So Josh you study scriptures

and read the lessons hard

Cuz Hell´s broke loose in France

and the Devil deals the cards

and you earn forgiveness if you baptize in the cold.

but if you lose the Devil gets your soul!

LOVE YOU ALL!

GOOD LUCK JOSH!

Elder Webber

A Good week

Let's see.. what happened this week, I´ll get the small stuff out of the way.

1. i saw two drunk dudes shving the beard of another drunk dude in the street.

2. i tried shaving with a knife on tuesday cuz my electric shaver ran out and i couldn´t find the charger.

3. i plucked a cigarette out of the mouth of one of our investigators and threw it on the ground

4. i chopped a tree down, feels good to swing an axe again after so much time.

5. as we were walking the other day, my companion hustled up to walk by my side and said *elder... i don´t think i´ve had any companion until now that has so much zen as you do, i mean, the world could end today and you´d be there saying...*well.. that´s cool, what´s next?* it seems like anything other people say really doesn´t piss you off too easy* i thought that was interesting, seems like my breathing exercises in the morning are helping :D haha

6. i love walking around in a suit on sunday, also, we were closing the deal with the owner of our new house, and i love the feeling of rolling up, plooping my briefcase on the table, whipping out the folder, thubming thought the papers, explainging the deal to him circling the important parts, telling him where to sign, then walking out into the sunset, oh the power, i´m a businessman and i´m here to DO WORK.

7. i dunno why, but God thought it was a good idea to stick a bunch of J-dubs in my path this week, i met 4 or 5. and after so long on the mission i really don´t have patience to hear them preach anymore, i mean you just say hi to them and they immedieatly start preaching to you. so i decided it was time to fight fire with fire:

Situation one:

*no, thank you, i´m J-dub... blah blah blah*

*oh yeah? sir, i~ve never been to your church, what are some of your beliefs?

*umm.... blah blah, the bible blah blah*

*sir, some people have told me, and i dunno if it´s true, but they said that you believe that God is Jehova, is this true? do you beleive this?*

*why, of course! it says in the bible*

*where?*

*umm...blah blah, avoid the question...*

*you mean, you beleive in this and you don´t even know where it says it in the bible? don´t you go to your church?*

*of course i do, it says it lots of times in the bible, i´ve just forgotten..*

* i´m not so sure sir, look here.... Revelation such and such... CLEARLY sir, it says here that JESUS is Jehova....*

*umm.....*

*but it was just a question, thanks for your help, bye!*

Situation 2:

*no, i´m j-dub, bye!*

*sir, i didn´t ask what church you´re from, i asked what was your name*

*jose*

* can i shake your had sir? can you open up the door please?*

*umm...

*why? are you afraid of me sir? i´m a missionary here to talk about Jesus...*

*but i already know The Word*

*does everyone in your church treat everybody so coldy? or is it just you?*

*its just that i have lots of things to do...*

*just wanted to shake your had sir. good day*

where is the love???

also, i found out that i love teaching athiests and smart people, gives the chance to really break a mental sweat. and not just deal with stupidity, we spent about 2 hours on friday teaching to atheist kids, Elder Nunes didn´t say a thing cuz he didn´t unsderstand half of what they were saying, even though it was all in portuguese. fun stuff indeed, a battle of wits is.

but, best of all, BAPTISM ON SUNDAY!!!! WOOOOOO!

he´s the son of a less active lady, it blows my mind how other missionaries never found him. but i´m happy they didn´t! oh yeaaaah. he got baptized, confirmed, and received the preisthood all in the same day. good stuff.

I got a package from Grandma Hutt this week, THANK YOU GRANDMA HUTT!!! woooo! loved it! love the flakes... i shared some of the minties with the other missionaries, but the flakes and milkybars are MINE!

I realize how much i miss playing rugby, and coatching flag football and soccer... good times indeed. I`m on my way now to buy i giant bull-horn, oh yeah.

I´ll play *taps* in my head for Josh this week :D hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

*take a bad boy, make him dig holes in the hot sun all day long... turns him into a good boy. That´s our philosophy out here at Camp Greenlake.*

LOVE YOU!!

ELDER WEBBER

A good week

What A Week...

Yup yup, so before I forget, I guess I should start worring about my BYU classes, I dunno when the semester starts, nor when the deadline is to sign up for classes, but I´ll get my name and password to you so you can check it out for me, maybe sign up for me. lets see...

Yeah.. I don´t remember. Maybe you can try for me and find out my name and password. haha.

Anyways... 20 minutes later...

So all week we were running after baptisms, we had 2 completely ready, but one fell through during the start of the week, another then just fell into our laps *hey, can you baptize me?* HALE YEAH! so we marked a date for Sunday, then later we found out that his family re-marked it for the 4th, NOO!! well... at least it´s still a baptism. then we were working with our friend Gilvanilson, we was being a bit flaky about baptism. So I gathered up 2 members, prepared myself. and headed to his house. I was reviewing all my tricks and moves before I got in. Then during the lesson I pulled out my bag of magic and sprinkled some fairy dust, the two member boys taught well, even my companion did pretty good. Felt like the A-team, and he accepted to be baptized Sunday morning. WOOO!! Then.... passing by there Friday night, we found out that he went for a trip... until monday night, NAAW! what a bummer, total let-down. So after 3 firm dates, all fall through. And I´m left with empty hands for this month. just shoot me. Especially after I found out that the family of five I was teaching in Goianis got baptized. grrrrrr. This next month will be better.

Also, found out that my comp from the MTC, Elder Bagely, got ran over by a train in Vitoria, and got his leg amputated... bummer.

One of our zone leaders went home the other day because the guilt of what he´d done before the mission was getting to him. oh well.

Wow, what a happy email eh?

Moving on. I´m down to single digit weeks now, did ya know that? I do.

It seems like things are coming together nicely for this next month, we´ve found quite a few people that are awesome and moving along easily, I think we can reach 6 this month. We´ll see how it goes.

I was thinking the other day about Josh, and I decided to put together a CD of music that describes the mission from start to finish, I recommend finding this music and making a real CD. Here goes:

1. month before the mission: *live like you were dieing* Tim Mcgraw

2. first night in the MTC: *Lonely Day* System of a Down

3. On the plane heading to your mission *starlight* Muse

4. First Area *lose Youreself* Eminem

5. Worst comp (or your getsemani) *sound the Bugle* Brian Adams

6 Best comp ( or training) * you got a friend in me* Toystory

7. Making one year *feelin´good* muse

8. Being called as something else after being Zone Leader *Viva la Vida* Coldplay

9. Month before coming home *on a jetplane* John Denver

10. Night before coming home *insomnia* Dirty Heads

11. On the plane coming home *Coming to America* n/a

12. When all the investigators that didn´t wanna be baptized see the second coming *vindicated* Dashboard Confessionals

Hope you like it :D

Also, since my companion walks 5 feet behind me no matter where I go, I decided to make my own version of *the devil went down to georgia*

Well a pastor went down to Brasil

He was lookin for a soul to teach

He was way behind, so he was lookin to find

someone willing to let him preach

He came accross a young man reading the scriptures and reading them hot

so the pastor hopped up on the podium steps and said *boy let me tell you what

Now you read pretty good scripture boy, but give the pastor his due

I bet a bible of gold against your soul, cuz I think I´m better than you*

Well the boy said my name´s Elder Webber, and it might be a sin

but i take that bet you´re gonna regret cuz i´m the best that´s ever been

Well the pastor said * guess i´ll start fight off the fly*

and fire flew from his fingertips as he straightened up his tie

he thumbed his fingers through the pages and it made an evil hiss

and a band of demons joined in and it sounded somthing like this...

when the pastor finished elder Webber said, well you´re pretty good old son

now just sit down in that pew right there, and let me show you how it´s done

When elder Webber finished the pastor knew that he´d been beat,

and he laid that golden bible at the ground at Elder Webber´s feet

and Elder Webber said *Pastor, just come on back, if you ever wanna try again

cuz i told you once you son-of-a-gun, I´m the best that´s ever been.

LOVE YOU ALL!!!

ELDER WEBBER

A "Crazy" Week...

So this week was crazy.. again. We spent ALL of Wednesday walking around our whole area trying to find a new house for us to live in... no success. Too many people greedy and rude, screwing over the missionaries. So now were living with other missionaries here in the center, taking a bus to our area and back every day, having to listen to my companion complain the whole way... fun. Still lookin for a house, getting kicked out of your home sucks, I´ve learned.

On Thursday, we had interviews with President. FINALLY! I havn´t had interviews for a long time, ash! So we got there, Sister flipped out at us because nobody brought their area book (nobody TOLD us to bring it, so I´m supposed to lug 20 pounds of paper with me for no reason??) right. so... naturally... I flipped out at Elder Boyne, our zone leader, cuz they were putting the blame on me that nobody brought their books, until the Sisters showed up from the other district and they didn´t know either that they were supposed to bring it, IN YOUR FACE! I backed him into a corner caught in his own excuses, chewed him out, and he stopped talking.

Don´t call me a liar when I´m not.

Anyways, finally my turn to be interviewed... not much of an interview, more like 20 minutes of chit-chat with pres.

*how ya doing?* *good*

*keepn the rules*

*of course*

*keeping the commandments?*

* easily*

*how´s your companion?*

*he alright*

*still slacker?*

*yup*

I asked a bunch of questions, confessed my sins.. all of which were before the mission that have been beating my in the head for a while. Feels good after. Then we just sat and talked about the mission, about life, about the district. Fun stuff, I love interviews with Pres. Talked a bit about the miracle of forgiveness and so on.

Then after, we spent the whole day taking all the furniture from our house and taking to a member´s where it´ll stay until we can find a new house. We enlisted our neighbor and our street-rat friend to help us out. It was a good bonding time.

Friday, we had conference with President for most of the day. Awesome, as usual. Love listening to President talk. Afterwards he gave me a hug and thanked me for my great work *you know I love you son, keep up your work, I need you.* I thought, yeah for sure you need me, cuz after my group goes home you´re gonna lose half your leaders. haha. My group rocks.

Sunday we had to give talks in sacrament meeting. The night before I asked my companion *hey, remember, we have talks tomorrow, did you prepare anything* *yeah* then when he got up to talk: *so... yeah... I didn´t prepare anything for my talk today* ugh... idiot. He just read the story of Ammon... verse for verse..... he was the second speaker, only supposed to be 5-10 minutes... he talked for 20 and lefter 10 for me. aargh! The president gave me 10 more minutes to I could give a longer talk. but wow....dude...

Then later in the day, he asked me to sit down on the curb with him, and he started talking about all his sins on the mission, and how he wants to go home... how he´s already made up his mind and that I should give him the phone to call Pres. Well I talked for him a little bit, trying to talk him out of it. I mean... he obviously is suffering in the mission, and doesn´t want to be here, but I wouldn´t be fulfilling my calling as a representative of the Lord if I just said *Sure, go home* but it still hard to help someone who doesn´t want help. But I´m still throwing in my 10 cents, as well as the other elders here. Sad dude. Sad excuse for a man. Either go on a mission, or not, but don´t come back home a failure.

I spent a half our the other day trying to rescue a 1 Real coin from the other side of a gate that I had dropped. Shows how much the money is worth to you when you´re on the mission.

*I am the Hairless otter, and I must eat chicken... AHHOOOO!!!*

LOVE YOU!

Elder Webber!

A New House

So this week has been interesting, we´ve had to deal with two morons who both say they own our house, one wanted to renew the contract and the other said he´d already sold it, in the end: we have to move out by Wednesday and we went on a wild goose chase on saturday trying to find a new house. We found one but now we have to get President to give us the OK. Sometimes people are just so stupid.

On Wednesday, we were walking through the open market, when a group of teenage kids were walking by on the street, i saw one turn around and yell *hey mormons! you guys are idiots!* well... me love and long-suffering went straight out the window, I turned around and marched toward the kid who said it, he saw me and tried to run away but just hid behind his friend when i called him out. *hey you! quit hiding like a girl and look at me when I´m talking to you! You ever talked to an american before like you just did? hmm? have you?? you ever gonna do it again?* *no...* *that´s what I thought, get out of here* I´m pretty sure he half peed his pants, and he aint gonna be talking to the missionaries again like that.

Thursday, we taught an ice-cream man. oh yeah. we were knocking doors as usual, and at one house the lady didn´t want to let us in, until her husband saw us and invited us to enter. So we did. At the end we invited her to do the closing prayer, and she said this *please forgive me for my ignorance in not letting thy servants into my house. and I thank thee that thou hast sent thy angels to our door to help us, please keep these two angels safe....* :D

On Friday I did a division with Elder Thompson and Elder Dos Anjos, I went to their area to stay with Elder Thompson the newbie. Not too shabby. We marked 4 baptismal dates in a day, success! Whenever I do divisions with the newbies in my zone or district I always try to be like how Elder Dutra was to me when I went on a division with him oh so long ago. I feel it´s better that way.

Yesterday we had three investigators in church, two of which have dates to be baptized this month. wooo! Not too bad indeed.

You know the cheesebread at Tucanos? Yeah, the best cheesebread in the world is here in Minas Gerais (the state i´m in). Take it.

I don´t think hardly a day goes by without somebody making mention of my funeral, or my departure.

Brasil got spanked in soccer by germany.... everybody was sad. hahaha

Well, that´s about it for this week, I left my memory card at home, so i´ll bring it later and send pictures :D

*Sugar...spice... and everything nice..*

ELDER WEBBER!

A Solid Week

First things first: pictures.

1. the friend and family of Jefferson when he got baptized last week,
2. the district over which I rule.
3. the death of Elder Margalho.
4. me
5. Elder Souza Silva and Elder Thompson out to lunch with us.

So this week was just another normal week, powering through the days, trying to drag people out of their houses and get them to church. ugh.

Tuesday went on division with Elder Souza Silva, I went to his area, cuz it´s been a looong time since I´ve done a division outside of my area, so i went and *chilled * with him for a bit, got to know his investigators and all that, we are currently in negotiations about his cologne and my shorts and speakers, I´m sure we´ll come to agreement. We were supposed to meet and trade at the zoo today... during our district activity, but that was shot down by the leaders, no activity this week. No zoo. No animals. Lame. Also, he offered his house for my use when me and Elder Lunceford come back to check out São Paulo and Rio De Janeiro. He said he´ll take us to his favorite restaraunts and party places, sounds good.

Also on Tuesday, we held a funeral for Elder Margalho during district meeting, cuz he´s heading out today, on the big bird that leaves and never comes back.

My my my, David is back home is he? well, Dr. XXX we meet again, only this time the advantage is mine!

Of all the people we taught during the week, all the sweat and hard work, only 2 went to chruch with us, one will be baptized this weekend if everything goes according to plan, and the next one will be baptized the week after, again if everything goes according to plan, it´s very discouraging when you work all week but you see hardly any result at the end of it, almost makes you want to just sit down the rest of Sunday and do nothing.

Yesterday was transfer day, so that means the clock has begun: 2 transfers left, 12 weeks remaining, 84 days to DO WORK!

This area is awesome in the fact that I don´t have to spend a fortune on bus-passes, so now I can use that money to try and gain back the weight I have lost, I only weigh 89 kilos! Madness! So whenever I have a spare moment I buy me some sweet confectionary baked goods from the bakery, mmhmm. I feel like Edgar: *Edgar, your skin is hanging off your bones* I have to keep hiking up my pants cuz they don´t fit on my body anymore haha

But yeah, other than that, hauln´ butt and working all day, nothing is new. Baptism this week, woo!!

LOVE YOU!!
Elder GH Webber

Just workin'...

My my, we had another BAPTISM! WOOO!!!! His name is Jefferson, and he´s been wanting to be baptized for a while now, and last week he finally made the decision. So yesterday before church we held his baptismal meeting. Wooo!!! I was thankful that The Big Man Upstairs held onto him just long enough till I got here then allowed him to be baptized under my watch, woo!! The kid is way cool, we were friends as soon as I entered his house.

This week was a bit unusual though. Tuesday I did a division with one of the new zone leaders, Elder Periera... it´s a very *interesting* experience to walk with these missionaries, being the second-oldest in the zone, and seeing them make all the same mistakes I made when I was a newbie... oh the frustration. But it was still fun. Friday Elder Boyne, the other zone leader, came here to kick it with us for a while (also to do an interview), and he spent the night as well. We got up early the next day to go to *helping Hands*, we helped distribute panflets about Dengue... fun, but alot of the members were complaining that it was kind of pointless... haha, I have no opinion. Later, I headed to Tibery to do an interview for Elder Souza Silva, longest interview ever, but I talked her through her problems and she got baptized yesterday, sweeeeeet. Elder S. Silva invited me to come stay at his house sometime in São Paulo, so we can go to Carnaval together with Elder Lunceford, and we can go party in Rio and São Paulo. Fo shizzle.

Let's see.... really these days are all just full of knocking doors, I cut my hair into a mohawk last monday.... I love mohawks, and everybody here has them... I shaved it off before I went out to work. :D. I´m eating pineapple almost every other day, there´s a hard-core football fan that sits next to our house and he updates us on how all the teams are doing. Our team, the Flamengos, are kickn´ trash, so that´s good. I was fooled into cheering for Vaso for a few weeks, but luckily some members convinced me of the error of my ways and i turned back to my first love.

I´M A-CHARGIN´ MAH LAZER!! SHOOP DA WOOP!

love, Elder Webber

A few more pics...

1. Video: Back in Ipiranga, when I brought Elder Van Zeben with me on division. :D

2. Fatima´s house w/ kids

3. Me, Elder Barton, Elder Steffensen

Back on track and.... Lovin' it

Talking about getting on the *big bird* i just got an email from the secretaries asking me which airport I´d like to go to when I come home.. ahhhh!! It´s ok, they say you´re allowed to be abit trunky on preperation day, haha.... it´s not like i asked to think about airports and airplanes, and see the long list of missionaries that´ll head home with me.

Boating sounds way awesome, especially since it just got really cold today, after a week of boiling hotness. But the week went pretty well, I hit the ground running and sweated my butt off, I´m still learning the area, but I´ve decided to knock the streets here in order, so we can remember which doors we´ve knocked, so we knocked two and a half streets already, not too shabby, still trying to find some good people to teach... who are married and aren´t full of vices.

Didn´t do much for my birthday, just worked and walked, I bought a bowl of açaí at night, so that was good :D haha, but other than that it was just another day.

hmm... nothing much else happened this week, I met my district tuesday, Elder Souza silva, Elder Thompson, Elder K. Silva, Elder Mesquita. just us 3 duplas here, they´re pretty good missionaries so I'm pretty happy about that :D My companion is trying to learn english, so when we´re at home, we speak only english, but when we´re out working, we speak only protuguese... it´s hard for me, I get confused all the time.

So i´m sending some pictures and videos to make up for the short email, i´m sure you don´t want me talking about knocking door, after door, after door, after door for a whole week, haha.

1. video of us walking back from lunch yesterday.

2. Breno´s baptism last week.

3. me and elder taylor on my last day in Ipiranga
4. me with fatima´s family in ipiranga, she said that i meant the same to them as the first missionary that passed by their home. :D that i made the same difference.

I´m LOVING the miracle of forgiveness, I´ve never read a book before that made me drop to my knees and beg for forgiveness.... good times.

Josh, the mission is:

10% luck

20% skill

15% concentrated power of will

5% pleasure

50% pain

and 100% percent reason to remember the name ELDER WEBBER!!

Every day the members here tell me how much time I have left, and my companion is asking what stuff I´m gonna leave him when I *depart from this world* arrrgh!

LOVE YOU!

Elder Webber

Update... Trials...

Anyways, we baptized Breno on Saturday! WOO!! He chose me to baptize him, so Saturday night we had a few members gathered together in the chapel and he got baptized in the freeeezing water, though he said he couldn´t feel the cold anymore after he got baptized. Oh yeah. The kid is WAY cool, he´s 12 years old, and it was a mircale that we ever found him at all. A member family gave him his own set of scriprtures and scripture case, he´s an awesome kid. I was so happy that he finally got baptized. And it seems that his baptism was one of the last things I needed to do to complete my purpose in Ipiranga, to do what I needed to do there, cuz yesterday, after he got confirmed, I got a call from Pres. and he said I was transfered here to Uberlandia..... totally bummed to leave my area, I feel pretty much the same as when I left Anapolis the first time.. maybe worse. The busride wasn´t so bad, just 7 hours, but when I got here my head is hurting thinking about the new area, my spirit is tired worrying about my new companion and district, and my heart hurts cuz I left behind my recent-converts and friends back in Goiania that I love so much. There was no time to visit Nara, (recent convert) so I called her to say goodbye, as well as Jaynie ( less-active) and they both started crying. Freak, that doesn´t make it any easier on me.

But, good news: Elder Black ( the kid I trained ) is taking my place as zone leader, HOORAH! and Nara told me that her divorce finally went through, and she was wanting to throw a party with us to celebrate. Good for her :D also, President gave me permission to read *the miracle of Forgiveness* so I´ve begun to read... and I´m loving it. wooo.

During last week I did a three day division with Elder Van Zeben, I brought him to my area so I can teach him how to teach a little better and be a bit more loving... too bad I ain´t gonna be able to see the results of my work, haha. Pretty much there was a civil-war happening in our district between my companion, Elder Taylor, and everybody else, and I was trying to hold everybody together. Elder Taylor had no respect for them, and none of them liked him at all. Good luck to them, haha, and Elder Black. That´s a problem I´m not gonna miss.

I know I´m gonna have to head out and work (preferably get to know the members) soon, it´ll be the best thing to get me excited and forget about what I left behind. But wow, I really miss the people there. If this last area ends up being my *resting place* it´ll probably be the exact same thing all over again.... oh sheesh. Lord, give me strength.

Well that´s about it, way pumped for the baptism we had! woo!!! Thank you for writing. Love you dad, Mom. This week is kind of short cuz I don´t have that much time, and I´m a wreck of emotions and just want to lay down.

*the people cannot be ignorant and free*

Love, Elder Webber

ANOTHER great week!

Haha, yes, this it true. Before the mission i didnt even know what a seventy did... now I do. I imagine them now as the men the apostles send to give the slap-in-the-face when it is needed.

ahhh! I wanna go camping. Every day i look out over our area... I behold everything the light touches... I behold my kingdom... then I see the dark areas... the overgrown forest, the open savannah (yes, we have savannah here), and the low green hills... and it just gives me the urge of hopping the fence and just go walking... and walk until I reach some uncrossable river or forest then come back. fun stuff. Maybe someday.

Answering questions: first, I wanna have the experience of coming out of the airport... doing the slow-walk...posing for the cameras, hearing the cheers, kissing babies, breaking champagne bottles over ship keels, and being escorted back to assume my rightful throne as King of Town...... that´s just what passes through my head when I imagine that day.

Speaking of Singapore, when people ask me what my favorite place I´ve travelled to is, I think... passing briefly over my travels, and respond singapore... and malaysia.... I wanna go to india.

How was america day? how was Bungie Day?

On Monday, we passed by a house and the Dad asked us to give a blessing to his wife (member) then his grandkids asked to get blessings as well (not members) so I gave a blessing to the older one, I said her name and it started out all normal-like... then i stopped... it´s like something wasn´t letting me speak what I wanted to say, not a single word came out until the words came flying into my head and I let them flow out... and when the words stopped.. I stopped speaking, until they hit me again and I started speaking without wanting to. after, the family said that it was exactly what she was needing, and they were surprised that I had known exactly what to say. Awesome experience.

On Thursday we had another zone leader meeting with President. So we set up a semi-circle of chairs and tables in the chapel. it started 8 and went until 5. I feel like we´re in the dragon´s den when we do practices, cuz when the missionaries end their lesson, out comes the fire from the circling zone leaders... fun stuff :D I love these meetings, learn a lot. and get a little bit burned. ex:

Pres. *There´s a certain elder on the mission... I wont say his name........ Elder cruz...... that´s being an idiot!* and so forth.

After the meeting, we did a division with one of our district leaders, I took his companion back with me to my area. Poor guy, he´s a newbie, only 10 days in the field... soooo quiet. So we worked a few days together, and even until sunday, cuz apparently lots of missionaries had been sick the same day, Saturday, including my comp, so we couldn´t undo to division, even I got sick, for the first time on the mission I got sick and threw up during the night. I ALMOST MADE IT THROUGH! dang. So I laid down in the morning for a while, waiting for it to pass, but I couldn´t take it any longer, so i told the newbie to suit-up cuz we´re heading out, and shortly the sickness passed.

I used the time I had with the newbie to teach him how he can get a better start on the mission than many others. I told him what to study so he can learn how to pray (do you, brothers, know how to pray? i think NOT!) and so on. My my, how many things I´ve learned on the mission.

Lets see... what else... we´ve closed 2 baptisms already for this month, one for this week and one more for the 30th... so my nerves are a little better now. Just gotta help the zone baptize now.

I can´t remember much else that happened this week, we didn´t teach that many lessons, but closed a few baptisms, so it was a fair trade.

*You aint no Charles Barkley! You´re just a guy who looks like him. Be gone, wannabe, BE GONE!!*

LOVE

Elder Webber

A GREAT Week

Happy America day! Elder Lopez called me this morning to wish me a happy 4th of July. I had forgotten even though I had it written in my planner. America rocks!

So... Monday was awesome, we headed to balneario just us, Elder Watts, and Elder Fernandez. we started out the day with a prayer, so we got up on our rammeumtum, and thanked that we were all Americans and could watch the movies that day in English. Then we sat down and enjoyed a day full of Narnia 3 and Prince of Persia, WOOO!! , Wow I was so pumped for prince of Persia, I loved it :D best mission ever? I think so.

The lady that we baptized last month told us a story the other day, she said that the Friday before her son got baptized she was thinking if she really was on the right path, cuz apparently everything had been going wrong, and she thought that if she had made the right decision things would get better. So she decided to pray about it, after she prayed she sat down on her bed and a voice said to her *don´t be afraid... don't be afraid...don´t be afraid...* she said she got scared and hid under the covers. Haha, but still, how cool is that? And her cousin says that she´s progressing a buttload, and that she´s saying there´s no way she´s gonna leave the church. booyah!

And on Friday we had another conference with Elder Araújo. Coolest Seventy ever. In the morning we had a meeting with him and all the zone leaders, assistants and secretaries, and pres. In the stake high-council room. Basically he talk us some new changes, new rules, told us to shape up and baptize more. In his words:

him- *elders, what is your purpose as a missionary?*
*to invite to come unto christ*
*find the elect*
*teach with the spirit*
him- *No! your purpose is to baptize*

Then we had the real conference with everybody, it went until 3:00 woo, he roasted one missionary in front of everybody, and all that good stuff. I love listening to him teach. Carlos (president´s son) opened up his mission call in front of everybody, and he´s going to Rome Italy, he started bawling instantly, and his whole family started crying too, even pres.
I talked with pres a little bit afterwards and he´s gonna give me authorization to read the miracle of forgiveness, it´s one of the books the older missionaries are allowed to read. sweet.

That night we went to the edge of our area to teach a kid, he´s living with his aunt and cousins, who are members, and he said he wants to start going to church, he´s 12 years old. So on Sunday he actually showed up, WOO! so happy. And it was testimony meeting, so I asked him *if i go, will you go?* he said yeah, so we went up there waiting our turn, when I got up to talk first he got up too, and stood by my side, I didn´t realize it until I was well into my testimony. So I had to lean over and tell him he could sit down if he wanted. Haha, then he got up after, I waited over by the side, and he said that he read the Book of Mormon that day, that he prayed about it, and he got an answer that ít´s true. woo!! So he got down, gave me a hi-5 and we sat back down. Awesome stuff.

Just to advise everybody, July 7th is Bungie day, I advise everybody to go to Bungie.net and celebrate this glorious day with some headshots downstairs. July Rocks.

Also, big news: WE TIED FOR NUMBER ONE ZONE THIS MONTH, OH YEAAAAAH. We tied with Rio Verde with 14 baptisms, take that! wow, lots of work to pick this zone up, and we have our monthly meeting with pres tomorrow, so we´ll see how that goes. :D

*...So the red people hate the blues cuz they keep trying to make them pay money for schools and hospitals instead of cool things like nascar and shotguns... and for some reason the whole mess is being led by a fat guy from Michigan, like we said a lot of this stuff doesn´t make sense. But these times of the holidays is a chance for us to put our differences aside and hate each other on a much more personal level. And what better thing to hate than turkeys? and what better way to hate them than to eat them by the millions!*
-Red vs. Blue

Happy America (God´s country) Day!
Love, Elder Webber