"I almost died..." :-)

Just kidding, but seriously... not really.

January is almost over.... wow......alrighty then, so this week was pretty strange.

We´ve been spending a lot of time trying to find new investigators, so we found 16 of them, but only a few are good enough to keep teaching and worth the time, and on Wednesday morning I got a call from the assistants that they were heading to our area to do a surprise division with us, so we had to run to the terminal to meet them. we went back to the house and they gave us a loooong training meeting about what president wants now from his district leaders, and then we split up. It wasn´t too bad, I went with Elder Kevern (the US specOps dude), and it seems like on all the days I do divisions is when everything falls through, so that´s kind of a bummer, but oh well.

We met a pastor in the streets the other day, and he invited us to his house, turns out one of his sons is a pastor too, another is 42 and still living at home, and the other has read the Book of Mormon already and wants another. so we´ve stopped by there a couple times, they always give us drinks and cake and stuff, They made us PURE acaí (not the kind they make here, where it´s mixed with other stuff) but the real stuff straight from the Pará... it was goooooood. so yeah, we taught them the first lesson, and the dad pastor wanted to fight about everything, but his other son went to church with us on Sunday. OND ONE for the missionaries.

But.... this is how we almost died.....On Friday we were walking in the street, and we noticed it was getting a bit cloudy, so we looked behind us.. and there was a wall of rain racing towards us, so we ran to get away before we hid behind a small wall, the wind was so strong that the rain was going sideways and couldn´t get us, though all sorts of chairs and plastic tables were getting blown in every direction. Then the wind picked up and the tree next to us broke and flew away, knocking into some powerlines, and breaking the pole they were on, the pole falls into the street and then the powerlines come apart and there´s sparks flying everywhere all around us, it was PANDELERIUM! then of course it started hailing, HUGE hail too, an investigator saw us in our trouble and yelled to us to come in, so we had to dodge the sparks and hail to get accross the street and inside.....it was awesome. Besides all this, there was lighting strikes everywhere, and one hit the house right next to us... it sounds way different up close than far away.... way more scary.

This week all the leaders are heading to Goiania again for another training meeting, ugh, yeah I like it and there´s plenty to learn, but 4 days away from my area and spending all that money? I´d rather not.... but i have no choice.

We had another ward council meeting this Sunday, it went pretty good, me and Elder Black are helping put together the ward activity this month, the bishop got on everybody´s case for not helping the missionary work, and he told us that the stake president is talking that it´s probable that the ward will turn back into a basic unit.... I can see it happening.

Well that´s about it for now, I´m gonna go eat (at a restaurant that only lets you take one plate of food, so I´ve become quite adept at stacking my plate pretty high, I´m proud of myself, it´s an art)
So yeah, I love you all, hope you all have a good week.

Elder Webber

Chuggin' Along...

I got the package from the ward today, with the book that everybody wrote in, it was pretty spiffy, I like it. tell everyone thanks, and I also got the package from grandma, with cookies and flakes and everything, thanks grandma :D

ANYWAYS, nos batisamos esta semana!! Yeah, we baptized Leiticia, and it was pretty darn sweet, cuz the two other district leaders all baptized as well at the same chapel, so there were 6 baptisms all at the same time, I liked it. Though some other missionaries were giving us some troubles earlier in the week, cuz they were trying to rob our baptism, trying to get her to baptize in their ward.. haha... yeeeeeaaaah, that aint gonna happen, so I finally just got fed up with it and called the zone leaders and we had a phone conference with everybody involved, we told them to stop being stupid and she´s gonna baptize here. and he was ticked, but that´s what you get for being a lazy Brazilian and trying to steal a baptism from the Americans, that aint never gonna happen. Here comes the boom!! Her father in law baptized her, and then she chose me to do the confirmation, so that was pretty sweet.

Other than the baptism, this week was terrible, nothing went according to plan, and everything fell through, the only people who would talk to us were all the nut-jobs, we decided to go knock doors in a new part of town and met a whole new group of crazies and drunk... so we won´t be passing by there again any time soon.

We´ve been making pancakes these days though, I´ve gotten pretty darn good at cooking them on a stove that either cooks too hot or too low, on a pan that has no handle, with a spoon for a spatula, and a sponge for a potholder. oh yeah. i´m just too stingy to buy any new stuff, besides, if it works fine, why fix it?
Speaking of stuff from America, i don´t mind what you send, as long as it tastes good and fills up the empty spaces in my stomach, just anything random, i don´t mind. though i could use a new oil container... cuz i´m 101% sure that a Brazilian elder stole the other one I had.... I hate Brazilian missionaries.... well.... some of them.....never-mind.

Ah, Brazilians.... it´s pretty sad knowing that our ward has an attendance of 30 every week when it could have 70 if it weren´t for JUST ONE PERSON. There is a sister in our ward that is addicted to gossip. Wow..... now that is something I just don´t have any patience for, I´ve never really had to deal with gossip before.. cuz I didn´t really participate in school groups or was a ward chatter box, but here I have to hear it almost every day, and it´s the worst from this one sister, I cant take it--so sad, there are inactives that have told us that they would go to church again if it weren´t for that family, that´s pretty darn sad. And there´s nothing I can do about it. I´m sure gonna help where I can. Sad stuff.
moral: no gossip.

So yeah, that´s how it goes, we should have a conference with President coming up, and hopefully this week is better with finding people to teach, cuz we gotta plan for February.

*Do not use fire during a zombie outbreak, because the only thing worse than having your brain eaten by a zombie, is having your brain eaten by a zombie that is on fire.*
Love,
Elder Webber

Another " 'Tism"

The stake/ward here is getting worse every week, sad story, a pretty sweet family here just split up, there are only 30 people in church every Sunday, the bishop was looking through the records from last year and realized there are 16 people that were baptized and he has no idea who they are.. and so on.

Me and Elder Black gave talks again on Sunday, he talked about prayer and I talked about faith/works. I read a lot from the book of James... especially James 3:17.... the members needed a little spark. :D. I thought it went pretty well.. a couple members came up and said *Elder Webber.... you put me in my place, made me think.* wooo.

I havn´t been mud-slided yet, cuz Annapolis is pretty flat compared to Rio de Janeiro, though we still get soaked every once in a while.

Yes, i am a rolex man now, the band is kind of cheap, and you can´t really tell the watch itself is fake unless you look really close, but i´m still ballin´ . I saw a citizen watch the other day (like mine) and it was 1500 bucks, sheeesh! My watch is pretty sweet.

So transfers came this week (a week early again, cuz President is trying to do away with the habit of some missionaries slacking off the last week of the transfer) and I´m sticking around. yeah! This ward/area is struggling, but I´m glad to be sticking around, with Elder Black still as well, 7 more weeks together. Guess it means that President thinks I´m playing to the par, hope so.

Speaking of President, we had interviews with him the other day.. Nothing too exciting: *how are you?* *good* *are you sinning?* *no* *can I help you with anything?* *nothing comes to mind* *did you baptize this month already?* *definitely* *keep it up* *ok*.
That´s pretty much how it goes. and he´s set new goals (rules) for the whole mission: 7 people in church every Sunday, 10 new investigators and 5 baptismal dates each week, and 2 baptisms per month. So it´s no longer just a personal goal to baptize every month, it´s now a rule (like it wasn´t before, but now it´s written in stone so all the slackers have no excuses)

We decided to de-frost our fridge the the other day... that took a while, cuz it was pretty much all frozen over, but with a little bit of physical negotiation we managed to get all the giant pieces of ice out, now we can freeze things again! Lourdes, the lady we´re teaching, separated from her ex-husband, so she was able to be baptized, so we marked a date for this Saturday, HAPPY, until we went back yesterday and saw that he had come back, head hanging low, and said *i wanna get baptized....pweeeese?* ugh! Fine, so now we´re working on getting them married so they can be baptized next month. Such a headache. Though another girl we were teaching, Leiticia, got married to a member this last week, we went and watched, and I was the camera man, so now we just gotta find her/teach her the rest of what she needs to knows and schedule her baptism... nothing is ever easy.

We found out the other day that we´ve been teaching a gay guy..... he asked us after we had passed by the second time *what does the church think about homosexuality?* So I explained it all to him. And then he told us he was gay.... pretty strange. but either way miracles can happen, he can still change... hopefully. Besides, we already thought he was after he told us that he was a professional cook that didn´t eat meat.... yeah.

hmm... and what else..... I think that´s about it for this week, we´ve been working a lot to get new investigators, and we´ve got a few good people, we´ll see how it goes. I got a booklet from some 7th day Adventists the other day, and when I looked through it I couldn´t help myself from laughing... I felt just a little bad after, but that´s what they get for being idiots.

Pictures:
1. Me eating a strange fruit.. I don´t know what it´s called... but it tastes a lot like dragonfruit... if you can remember what it tastes like. haha
2. Moving statues...
3. Me and my frog.

Well, I love you Mom, Dad... and all you other people.
Peace!
Elder Webber

*He who knows not, and knows not that he knows not, is a fool, shun him.*

Another GREAT week.

We had a baptism! wooo!

We had a meeting with the zone leaders during district meeting, they brought some new rules and stuff from president. We have a crazy/complicated new retention plan, fun stuff, and since some missionaries were STILL being retarded on the internet, now we have to use the computer one at a time. Idiots. I sure hope they got sent home.

During the week I went on division with Elder Martin, the zone leader, finally we have a division, it´s the first one since I´ve been here. It´s a bummer that everything fell thought that day though. Either way it was fun, he´s going home in 4 months... and I´ve never seen anybody as trunky as he is. He was one of the most messed up kids before the mission, (he´s 24, so that explains a bit). it´s funny though, the best missionaries I know are kids that messed up before the mission and just was to make up for their mistakes.

But the big news for this week was our baptism, woooo! Sandoval finally got baptized, we tried to get him to choose his member friend to baptize him, but he chose me anyways, haha. He´s already gonna get the aaronic priesthood, and the branch president is gonna call him as secretary. He´s a pretty shy/timid guy, but he´s way smart. The baptismal font took about 3 hours to fill up (with two hoses going at the same time) then we bought pop and sweet bread stuff from the bakery and had a pretty cool baptism, the president called us up to do a surprise musical number... haha, yeah.

Today we had our first weekly leadership meeting, cuz apparently some missionaries thought it would be a GREAT idea to meet together every preparation day and talk about the zone and stuff. So now we have to come here to Jundiai every Monday morning to talk about the zone problems, it´s not boring or anything, it´s just a pain to use the bus and lose time. But oh well, it´s still pretty fun/helpful.

Anyways, my 40 minutes is up, (I hate, I hate, I hate stupid missionaries/sinners)

*THIS... is my BOOMSTICK!!!........shop smart, shop S-Mart!*
love you all
Elder Webber

New Year's... And "Stuff"

Yeah, it´s gotten pretty cold here as well. wow. It caught us all off guard, it´s a constant over-cast sky, pretty darn cold, and perpetual rain. Not the hard thunder-and-lightning rain storm, just sprinkling constantly. So weird. I havn´t seen the sun for quite a while. I see the Brazilians walking around in their arctic coats cuz they think they´re about to freeze to death. They know nothing of cold.

Good to hear that everybody is doing good, making new goals, and hanging out at home, it certainly is missing some mother-style-decoration down here. oh well.

Friday I did a division with Elder Cruz, Elder stoddard came here with Elder black and I went to Morumbi. It´s a nice break to just be able to follow him around and see how he works. Needless to say... he works way different than I´m used to, I´m glad I only have to stay a day with him. Also, I am NOT planning on leaving elder Stoddard and Elder Black together again.. they worked good, but i just don´t trust Elder Stoddard that much with my investigators. I think a year in the same city, and seven months with the same companion is starting to make him crazy. :-)

But anyways, that night was new years... and I didn´t get to sleep until 1 in the morning, explosions everywhere right next to and above the house. and they´re not cool, colorful fireworks, they´re just explosions. Little bombs. Just noise. So we opened the front door to take a look at what was going on... and there were just a bunch of black people-shaped shadows running around in the thick smoke setting off and throwing all sorts of explosives.... we didn´t stay and watch for too long, haha.

Other than that, this week was pretty sad. everybody was traveling, nobody wanted to talk to us, nobody was home, so we didn´t get too much work done, *sigh*. Though we are still teaching the guy in industrial, and he has a date for this Saturday, so hopefully that goes over well. We feel like he´s always on the edge of saying no, so we stay nervous.

As we were walking around the other day, we saw a guy that got just a little bit out of control for new years... he was totally messed up on crack, not good. He asked us to stop and talk with him, help him find his way home ( on the other side of the city ). He took his shirt off, then asked why it was so cold, so I suggested that he put his shirt back on. He held it up, looked very surprised * hey! I have a shirt * then he quickly put it back on. I felt pretty bad for him so I gave him a candy cane. :D

Elder Black almost killed me the other day. I was laying on the bed talking with my district (remember, we have bunk beds), blah blah blah, then I got up to plug the phone in to charge, while I was up, Elder Black climbed up the ladder and hopped onto his bed and... BAM!! The posts come apart, bed, wood and Elder Black come crashing down onto my bed, where I had been just seconds before. I almost died, it was a very traumatic experience for me. I could be dead right now, not cool. So I took pictures :D Then we put it all back together and I slept very nervously, afraid it would fall again. But then, while Elder stoddard was here, it happened again! And he actually did land on him, just his head though, so it´s ok. haha. So they put it back together, and now me and Elder Black and come up with a new *bed approach* so he doesn´t pull the posts apart anymore. How dangerous.

I have entered into negotiations with some members here about my shorts, and t-shirts, apparently they really like them (as they do anything that´s from America and they don´t have here, haha) so we´re trying to work out a trade. So far.... it seems like I´m gonna win, I feel bad that I´m gonna rip one of them off so bad, but oh well, that´s how I roll.

Brazil officially has a woman as President now......... good luck Brazil. :-)

I came up with a plan to help one of our investigators (Andre) stop smoking, and it´s working :D He´s gone from smoking 30 a day, to 7-every-3-days. YAY! my plan is pretty good I guess :D

Well, that´s about it for now, kind of a slow week without much success, but next week we´ll have a baptism, wooo!

*you lost today kid, but that doesn´t mean you have to like it*
Love you Dad, Mom, Josh, Zach, Ben, Mariah and FedEx (Joseph)

Elder Webber