Happy Birthday Elder

My birthday was pretty dang sweet. I´ve included a few pictures. On my actual birthday night we went to Mozair´s and he made us churrasco, which is the best churrasco I´ve eaten so far in Brazil, he makes it good. He´s the one in the picture with the sausage. Then the day after we went to Roseanne´s house for cake, woooo. She ALWAYS makes cake or something whenever we have lunch there, and it´s always good :D she´s the one in the black t-shirt with her kids. Then that evening we went to Ana Rosa´s house, with her family, and had a party there. I took a picture of the food :) so pretty much it was a pretty sweet birthday, I wasn´t complaining.

Transfer day is coming up next week, so I probably wouldn´t send any packages until after, though if there are some that show up after I´m gone, Elder Pattie will make sure they get to me wherever I am.

We went into the small store next to our house to have gas delivered to our house so we can start using our oven again. And there was some guy there, that I´ve only taught once, and he was half drunk... so..... he bought us ice cream haha, then his even more wasted friend showed up so we all sat down together ate ice cream and listen to him ramble about how awesome we are haha.

Yesterday was pretty exciting too, we were walking in between lessons and we saw a group of about 10 monks walking in the opposite direction on the other street. with their robes, crosses, ropes and everything. We see monks all the time, but never in big groups....so....naturally.... we took ´em on. we pulled a u-turn and caught up to them, when we started talking to them 8 of them just kind of ran away one by one, but 2 stuck around, one was a young dude who just kept rambling off about some history lesson, but the other one was partly normal, so we did our thing, invited them to church and let them go about their business.

THAT´S HOW WE DO IT!! We take on gangs of monks, teach them about prophets and tell them to go to church! You can´t get much more hardcore than us.

BUT, the big news for this week is................2 BAPTISMS! woooooo.

On the last Sunday of the month. We baptized Angela and her son Micael. I first taught Angela my first week here in the area, and i´ve finally got her into the water after over 5 months. There was ALWAYS something stopping her from getting baptized, but i finally managed it. And, mind you, Angela is a BIG lady, and she chose me to baptize her.....good luck to me, so I filled up the font a bit more than normal, and did my thing without troubles. and then of course everybody was talking about how awesome and strong I am, I know, I know, it´s true, but no need to make a scene, I´m not supposed to like the glory of men :D. Me and Elder Pattie made a lime-cake for the baptism, and we baptized with another companionship who were baptizing another kid, so they brought a cake too, and it was a big party afterward.
so...... WOOOO!!!!!

And along with the 2 baptisms (and as you´ll see on the weekly newsletter) we were also the ONLY companionship to take 10 investigators to church, how do you like them apples?? We also won the zone trophy again for this last week, that´s two weeks in a row for us now. We rule. I´ve included a picture of it.

Wanna know how many people normally went to church every Sunday when I first arrived here? It was always between 50 and 65, wanna know how many go to church now? Always between 70 and 80, so I feel like I´m at least doing something to help the ward here.

This morning while we were studying, we got a ring at our doorbell and found little Flavio waiting and ready to make us spaghetti. haha. Wanna know the first thing he says when he sees me? *hey, Giant!* haha So we let him in and he did his thing, so we ate spaghetti, and feijoada (black beans and meat) together. So that was pretty fun. Then me and Elder Pattie showed him some of the magic card tricks we know. He´s a way cool kid, and I love hanging out with him. Also, I´m not sure if you know this, but there are certain things that EVERY missionary needs in his briefcase: scriptures, stuff to illustrate the lessons, planner, pass along cards, money, and playing cards to do magic tricks. So pretty much I walk with a deck of playing cards and a Book of Mormon everywhere I go nowadays, you´ll be pretty blown away when I show you all the tricks I know.

So yeah, that´s about all the news for this week, a pretty good week indeed. Hope you´re all doin well, having fun and all that. Also, if it´s not too much trouble, and if nobody is using it, I´d like to receive my *How To Be a Gentleman* book, just stick it in with the next package if you´re sending one, don´t bother with sending it alone.

Well I´m off to the store to buy some Guaraná, be jealous.
Love you, Miss you

*No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die*

Elder Webber

The Latest

Yes, I have received the cards, and the packages, the first with the fancy ties, thank you! :D and the other i got just a little while ago with the two sweet posters. haha, thank you. And I love the cards too.

I´ll get the very important news out of the way first.....
the other day we left our house to start working, and we passed the construction store down the street. And I gave a thumbs-up to a guy there... and when he turned to walk away I saw that he... had no hands.... aaahh, I felt so bad. haha. but the question is: what was a guy with no hands doing in a construction store?

We are working harder this week, and we ALMOST had a baptism, he had the hour set and everything, but his mom had to leave on Sunday to do something, and his brother who is a member (and hates his little brother) didn´t want to take him to church, so we had to postpone the baptism until this sunday. ARGH!! But we´ll get him in the water one way or another. Even if I have to kick him in while yelling THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It´s too bad that President says we´re not allowed to call members to repentance, or even yell at them... or his brother would have gotten a bit of that from both me and Elder Pattie.
No fun at all.

The other day we were teaching these two young teenage kids, they´re pretty cool and all that, but while Elder Pattie was teaching they kept laughing, and muttering stuff... I dunno why. And then I started to teach, using all my voice and teaching skills I´ve learned I managed to shut them up and make them pay attention without telling them to. Oh yes, I´m an amazing teacher.

Since President allowed us to play volleyball and basketball, our zone went to the chapel in Jundiaí to play the two and to have churrasco (Brazilian barbecue) so that was pretty fun.... and i may or may not have lost my kite... but it aint my fault, the line broke as i was trying to evade a pirate kite that came in and was trying to wrap itself around mine. Dirty pirates.

We won the zone trophy for this last wek, cuz we earned the most points for teaching lessons, marking dates, and talking to people, which is pretty good, even if we´re not having that much success, though we´re gonna earn 18 bucks tomorrow.

I saw the beginning part of the Percy Jackson movie the other day, because we showed up at a member´s home and they INSISTED that we stay and watch. They even started making popcorn for us and switched the movie to English. Needless to say.. we left. But when we went back another day they were playing Avatar!!! ahhhh!!!! oh the temptation!!!

Question: have you ever gone up to a group of teenagers and told them that you´ve traveled 5,000 miles to save their souls? I have :D and have you ever broken up a couple that was making out and taught them the law of chastity? I have. hahahaha.

So I think that´s about it. Not much else happened this week. Thank you for the packages and cards. :D I´ve planned to have a few cakes with some members this week. WOOO!!! so it shouldn´t be too bad eh? haha

Well I love you, miss you, hope you have fun, don´t burn down the redwoods.
*I was elected to lead, not to read*
Elder Webber

Life is (continues to be) Good...

Be straight, be true, what is shakin´ in bacon, man?

We had our conference with our new President last Wednesday, and it went pretty dang sweet. I like him, he brought most of his family and introduced them, told us about some of the new rules and guidelines, and stuff like that. I liked it. He used to be a bishop when he got called, so he´s used to calling everyone *son*, so the assistants are working on him now to break some of his habits and get used to being President (like calling everyone Elder). He´s a pretty funny/jolly guy, so things shouldn´t be too shabby. He said we´re allowed to play basketball and volleyball on preparation day now, so we might be playing a bit of that here in the future.

We´ve finally marked a date for a baptism this next week, and I´m hoping that it´ll all go right, as well that we might be able to get some more, because it´s making me nervous as heck having no baptisms so close to the end of the month. ( I know it´s only the 13th, but the weeks go by fast and before you know it, it´s the last week of the month and you have nobody to baptize, so you start running in the streets grabbing homeless guys and dragging them to the font....which IO havn´t had to do yet, and I hope I never do)

I´ve included a video of how our kite-flying went last Tuesday... well... how Elder Pattie´s kite flying went. We decided not to wait for the neighbor kids to show us how to do it properly, because we´re American, duh, we know everything. But after the videos, (with my new kite you´ll see) we went to the small park and flew kites with the neighbor kids, and I rocked it, I got to the end of my string and got to name my kite (cuz that´s how they name them, you have to let out all your string first) and I named it The Normandy. then some vagabond kids let loose their pirate kite and were coming over to cut mine down, little criminals, so I had to hurry and wind it in.

Ah, I got the other package last Tuesday as well, the one with a bunch of pictures of ya´ll at the fishing hole, Joseph posing in my car, and DJ hero. haha. Thank you, I loved it. And thank you Mariah for the letter too, :D

Last week wasn´t TOO productive either, (net because of my companion slacking off, cuz I´ve managed to get his but off the sofa and into the street if we´re wasting time) but because we didn´t work preparation day (normal), lost Wednesday for the conference with President (sounds good to me) and then Thursday because 2 girls died the night before from Elder Pattie´s old area, so we went to their viewing in the morning, then we went to go be witnesses at a wedding (which lasted like 5 minutes) then we went to the actual funeral of the 2 girls. so that took up pretty much all day. ugh. And apparently in Brazil they want to get the dead into the ground as soon as possible, so when we saw them at the viewing they were still all bloody and...yeah, (they had gotten hit by a car) and then when they buried them, the gravediggers didn´t even wait for the whole family to get there so the dad and sister didn´t even get to see them. Messed up

So yeah, that´s the news for this week. Hopefully I´ll have a baptism to write about next time.

*Your health is low, do you have any potions? Or food?*
Love,
Elder Webber

A New President

Soo..... yeah. This week. This is interesting, because Elder Pattie is the companion that I´ve gotten along with best, but we´ve done the least work so far. I don´t know if i´m just expecting too much from my companions, or from myself, but it seems to me like we´re just chillin WAY too long at member´s houses and after lessons. So this Sunday, I made it known that WE ARE GOING TO WORK HARDER THIS WEEK. Because I made a goal a while back to baptize at least one person every month that i´m in the field, and I´m not going to let a ´good´ missionary, a ´bad´ missionary, or flaky investigators get in the way of it. So I´m trying to help him step up his game, and I´m talking to more people in the streets, but I still get pretty darn frustrated when we just waste time at a member´s home not doing anything. ARGH!!

Yes, everybody was quite depressed here when Brazil lost their game. It started out alright, with fireworks, screaming and horns of course, but then we noticed that the whole city had gone quiet and cars had entered the streets again, so we asked who won.... and it wasn´t Brazil, haha, everybody was looking so depressed. Poor guys. I even bought myself a Brazilian jersey, and I do look pretty darn spiffy if I do say so myself.

So how was your 4th of July? We just drew an American flag on our new whiteboard, I colored in the wooden flag that happened to be in our house already, sang the National Anthem twice in the morning, and at cookies at night.... and that´s about it. And speaking of holidays, Bungie Day is tomorrow (July 7th), what are you planning on doing?? You HAVE to celebrate it, so i can live vicariously through you. (I'm not sure if I´m using *vicarious* correctly, I´m losing my grip on English) go to www.bungie.net to find out all you need to know about Bungie Day, one of the best holidays of the year, I´ve celebrated it for the last 4 years at least.

We got given a kite by one the kids in the street, apparently they´re really easy to make, so we bought string and we´re gonna sit on the roof today and fly it (with an American-made tail of course, made out of grocery bags). And that´ll do until the kid makes me my own. So we´ll just chill up there and drink guaranã with Açaí, and hope nobody cuts our kite down. We stopped the other day to talk with the kids who always fly kites near our house, and it´s WAY more fun to fly kites down here. There were two groups of kids, each group had three kites and they were yelling across the block at each other to coordinate their attacks and cut down the enemy kites, it´s crazy how good they are at steering their kites. We´ll get there, and then I´ll come home and rock everybody´s socks off.

That was an awesome story about Zach and Ben going Kayaking, we will definitely have to do that when I get back... I´ll have to learn to swim again first, except I´ll be getting back in October/November so....swimming wont be an option. haha. And I also loved the pictures, especially the ones with the guns, nice :) And Joseph should count himself lucky that the fireworks there are mild compared to what they have here, I pretty much just call them bombs, cuz that´s what they are, no fire, no color, just one big loud BANG, and that´s it. and it is LOUD! they throw it in the street to go BANG, they put some on the ends of rockets so they go BANG in the air, and so on.

This week and last week have been the transfer for the new President, so we´ll see how bad he shakes things up. But judging by the vibes from all the elders, it seems like his welcome aint too warm. But we´ll see how it goes, we have our first zone meeting with him tomorrow, so I´ll get to see what he´s like then. I´ve got a year and a half with him as president, so if I like him or not I´ll just have to get along with him and follow his rules. But I really don´t think he can be much more strict than Pres. Tobias was. haha.

How much food can you buy with R$20 (or 10 bucks) in America? can you feed two missionaries enough food that they´re hurling after-wards? We did, haha, cuz the food is so cheep down here. just thought i´d mention that.

We´ll that´s about it for now, I sent home a letter last week, and my jandals broke this week so i´m gonna go buy some snazzy Brazil ones soon. Pretty much.

*A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to*
Love,
Elder Webber

Keeping on...

I gave my first talk in Portuguese this Sunday. The bishop called up sunday night and asked if we could give talks, so of course we had to say yes. It was only 10 minutes so it wasn´t too long. I talked about the atonement and I only wrote down about 3 sentences for notes before I spoke, and I ended up speaking longer than I should have so the bishopric started tapping my shoes to let me know to wrap it up. I didn´t think it was too shabby if I do say so myself. It´s interesting whenever a missionary gets called to give a talk, you really have only to choose between two different topics: 1. call the members to missionary work to help you out, (which I chose) or 2. call everybody to repentance, REPENT YOU SINNERS!! THIS IS THE WORST WARD I`VE EVER SEEN!!! STRAIGHTEN UP!! I think I´ll leave the second choice until next time. I left my notes at home, so if you want to read what I said it´ll have to wait until next week.

Things are going alright here, me and my companion get along better than I have with the other ones. But it´s definitely frustrating when your new companion doesn´t care about the investigators the way you do. I don´t want to sound like a fault-finder with all my companions, I like serving with him, but if we´re gonna baptize we have to focus on the right people. Just a bit frustrating. It doesn´t bug me if someone´s heart isn´t in the work, as long as you DO the work and have results. It´s like what President Tobias said: *It doesn´t matter to why you came out on the mission. It matters why you STAY on the mission*

But i´m sure we´ll get around that, we´ve got a new whiteboard in our house now so we can plan out more visually our strategies and battle plans for baptizing the world. And we´ve got a few people lined up already, and we´ve got 6 weeks to do it. So pretty much if we don´t baptize at least some of the 7 people we have listed, it´ll be pretty embarrassing.

I´m glad you liked the pictures, haha. There have been many pretty fun days, and some others where you wake up, or go to bed saying *oh please, just kill me now, TAKE ME SWEET HEAVEN!!* or something like that.

Also, if anybody at home is complaining about the milk there, smack em a few times and tell them what we have down here. Our milk comes in boxes, and it tastes so bad that you HAVE to drink it as chocolate milk or it just makes you shudder. And this milk is mutant or something, because they sell it on the shelf, not in a fridge, and you can keep in on the shelf, or fridge forever and it´ll never go bad.... until you open it, and then you only have 2 days to drink it all before it goes rotten. yeah.

ah ok ok, confession time, I may or may not have watched the last 15 minutes of Night at the Museum 2 at a member´s house while waiting for lunch. But the weird thing is that it was all in Portuguese and I understood most of it and was laughing just as hard as if it were in English. mmhmmm. "Check out the gun-show goin on over here, Boom, Boom, Firepower!"

So yeah, I´m pretty sure that´s about it for now. We get to use the internet here for free every week because the guy here is our friend and really likes us. Oh yeah, thanks to me.

Thanks for shedding some light on how Joseph Smith was praying to know which church to JOIN, never realized that. I´ll have to apply that somewhere. And thank you for the Preisthood line of authority, awesome.

Enjoy the 4th of July, it feels like it´s the 4th every day down here whenever Brazil is playing (and winning) in the world cup. Spaced out of course by eerie silence when nobody is out on the streets.

Good luck to Josh in Canada. :)

Love ya´ll, Miss ya´ll

*It is my belief that if we were good people in this life, and lived well, God would allow us to be pirates*

Elder Webber

A New Companion

My my my, this week was pretty good indeed.

Elder Casey has gone home, he´s just waiting in Goiania for now until it´s time for his flight. And I´m sticking around here in Anapolis :D My new companion is Elder Pattie, ANOTHER American, and so far i don´t think he´s too bad, but we´ll see eh? And i´m just a junior in a normal companionship this time, no chillin with the District Leader. yup. We spent the whole day yesterday and most of Sunday just going around so that Elder Casey could say bye to everybody. But the big news is what happened on Saturday because......................................

We baptized 4 people. wooooooo, oh yeah! haha. A guy named Jorge (29) who is the boyfriend of a member, and then 3 children of a family we´re teaching. The parents weren´t ready to be baptized yet, but the mom asked if we could still baptize the kids, and of course we said yes. I got in the water with the two older kids of hers, so that was way awesome. We don´t have to worry about Jorge, because he´s already friends with everybody and works with a lot of members, and he wants to get married in the temple, we just have to work with the parents of the other 3 kids now otherwise all that work will be for nothing. But they all came to church by themselves on Sunday to be confirmed, which is even better, so we don´t have to go walking around Sunday morning looking for everybody
And then afterward we had the ward talent show that we organized. We started organizing it the first week elder Casey got here and now 11 weeks later it finally happened. haha. So that was sweet. And apparently when you say *talent show* to Brazilians it just means *music show* everybody and their dog brought a guitar and sang, ugh. The bishop had a band with the stake president, with the bishops son and presidents nephew as well. pretty rockin´. so that ended up pretty well indeed.

Hmmm... I seem to have left my other planner in the house, so i forgot what else I´ve had to write about.

I´ve had chances every once and a while to play around on the piano in the church, and i´ve managed to play the beginning parts of: some Zelda songs, Mission impossible, star wars, Lord of the Rings, Corpse Bride, Jurassic Park, and Halo. It´s fun to play i just don´t have anything to play cuz i can´t remember the songs I´ve learned and so on because I stopped piano lessons, and also cuz no one´s got the sheet music for anything but hymns. But yeah, I´m pro.

So yup, we´re got a couple families we can teach and hopefully baptize during this transfer, so that´ll be good. And we´ll be getting our new President the end of this month, holy nervous batman. We have no idea what he´ll be like, but it´s kind of hard to imagine having a President more strict that Pres. Tobias.

Plus the best month in the world is coming up: JULY!!
July 4: America´s Birthday
July 7: ***Bungie day*** The 7th on 7th
July 21: ME

How´s the 50 miler going? you bunch of wimps, why back in my day we hiked up to a lake that we didn´t even know existed, that´s how hardcore we are.

mmhmm, so that´s what happened this week, sent Elder Casey home on a good note, and gettin ready to baptize some more souls. bring em on.

Love, Elder Webber

Companion Goes Home

So the biggest news down here is that the Wold Cup has started. And everybody knows it. All the cars are painted the Brazilian colors, horns going off 24/7, and every morning there are fireworks, and other illegal explosives being set off. Every TV has the games playing, and so on. I have a mini schedule in my briefcase so I can keep track of who is winning and losing and stuff like that. I keep telling everyone that America is going to win, but nobody believes me.

Last week was the last week of Elder Casey, and his birthday, so we had about four families make us cakes and stuff, so that was awesome, and at the district meeting on Wednesday we had another cake, and Elder Cortes made a coffin, and we held Elder Casey´s funeral. Yup I was just there for the cake. And we're part of of ANAPOLIS: DA NUMBA ONE ZONE!! WOOO!!

I´ve realized how bold I´m getting in some of my lessons and invites on the road. I´ll give you some examples of what I´ve done...

1. Meeting someone in the street the other day:
*Sir! look here! I am a travelling minister, and I have walked through rain, snow, desert places and mountain ranges to arrive here and save your soul by helping you be baptized in the One True Church, DO YOU ACCEPT!!?!*
And surprisingly enough, it actually works :D
2. We went into a guys house the other day after we got his address a few days before. And we basically just called him to repentance and told him to be baptized:
*Sir, you are a sinner, and sinners cannot get to heaven, don´t you agree?*
*yes*
*We are here to help you receive forgiveness for all your sins, don´t you want that?*
*yes*
*That is why God has sent me here to baptize you so you can be saved, do you accept??*
*of course*
*But you need to stop drinking and smoking first, will you stop?*
*I will*
*and I´m going to see you in church Sunday right?*
*yes you will*
*I thought so*

We´re tough, because we care :)

So pretty much, if I come home and anybody is sinning, prepare to feel the wrath of the bold but not overbearing Elder Webber. YEEHAW!

Obviously, I am not writing on Tuesday, because we had Zone conference yesterday. We went to Goiania with 2 other zones for our last conference with Pres. Tobias. It lasted all day and it was amazing. Took our last picture with him, got a last hug from him and Sis. Tobias, got a mysterious brown package that we can´t open until we´re on the plane home, had breakfast and lunch, and learned a bunch of stuff. I wrote it all down but I don´t have my book here, oh well. Elder Cortes made another coffin for Pres. and Sister, and we were all afraid to present it because we thought we were going to get burned alive, or smitten once he saw it, especially since it has a huge red christian cross on the front of it. But he thought it was funny and we´re all still alive.

What we really creepy, though, was when we left the chapel after-wards. Because during the whole day there were horns and fireworks going off because it was the day Brazil was gonna play against North Korea. And when we got out they had just won. So there were people all leaning out of the really tall apartment buildings there, strange explosives falling from the sky, we were hearing horns from all directions even though we couldn´t see who was blowing them. People yelling and screaming. We felt like we were in a war zone... and it was awesome :)

I figure here is a good place to mention some Pres. Tobias quotes:
*You never, ever, should get involved in a bible-bash. But, if you do, YOU DO NOT LOSE!*

* You want to know why you can´t watch the World Cup? Because it´s of the world, if it were the Celestial Cup, you could watch*

And I have no idea what I´d want in my birthday package. I´ll try to think of something. Maybe a star chart? That´s all I can think of right now. I would ask for books, but we´re not allowed to read outside of the missionary library.

The weather is changing down here as well, it´s actually pretty dang cold in the mornings, but the afternoons are still way hot. You know it´s getting chilly when all the Brazilians are wearing jackets, sweaters and scarfs. Wimps.

Well that´s about it for now, Until next Tuesday... I think, cuz it´s transfers next week, so we´ll see how things get shaken up then.

*You can get more with a kind word and a gun, than you can with just a kind word*

Love, Elder Webber